What problems will you say goodbye to this year? 

I don't know about you, but 2023 threw some curveballs my way. Grateful for staying sober, but dang, I was leaking bits of myself everywhere except where it mattered – Me. This year's mission: reclaim my mental Zen and get back on track with my own lovely self.

What's funny is that this journey feels very much like when I quit drinking in 2009. It's easy to slip into excuses and self-sabotage if I'm not vigilant – a familiar pattern from back then.

Oh, yes. In case we haven't met, I'm Pamela. Formerly entangled in a tumultuous relationship with red wine and tequila - a battle that was not particularly glamorous and left me almost dead. Quitting felt like chopping off a limb. Or killing my best friend. 

I kept telling myself I would quit "tomorrow" - but the following day, I found myself drinking and saying "tomorrow" - again.  I remember how awful this felt. The hamster wheel of shame, guilt and regret. Ugh. Does any of this sound familiar?

I knew I had a problem with drinking, yes. But that was the tip of the iceberg. Beneath, I struggled with:

• Victimhood I loved blaming others in order to justify my drinking. 
• Integrity I had 1000 excuses, and kept giving myself a pass, daily.
• Self-trust I could not trust myself to do what I said I would. Ever.
• Honesty I kept lying, pretending I had shit under control. I didn't.
• Shame I kept thinking it was my fault. That there was something wrong with me (there wasn't)
• Self-love I had no idea how to be kind to myself. How to treat me with compassion and tenderness. How to be my best friend.
• Community I had shattered my relationship with the world - and didn't know how to mend it.

I now know that it took me a long time to stop drinking because I'd been asking the wrong question. 

The question was not "how can I quit drinking?"

The question was: "How can I start transforming my relationship with myself so that I don't have to drink myself out of it?

You see, it was not about saying NO to the drink.

It was about starting to say YES to myself and my life.

That was the gold nugget.

That shift, from "quitting booze" to "coming home to my own heart," changed everything.

Wine was my crutch, helping me navigate both lows and highs. Removing that crutch meant finding new ways to navigate life. Saying NO to wine had to mean saying YES to life in a different way.

Take a moment to ponder this subtle yet powerful concept: If your goal this year is to quit drinking, are you solely focused on saying NO to booze?

OR...

Are you saying YES to a new way of living – embracing new ideas, tools, communities, habits, and actions?

Let's try something new, then.

Hit reply and let me know your thoughts.

Are you ready to try sobriety by saying YES to you?

Can't wait to hear from you.

XO

PAMELA

Badass Recovery Founder

Certified Recovery Coach

SHE RECOVERS Coach

Insight Timer Teacher