For decades, I was stuck in a love affair with red wine that almost killed me.
Then, I quit drinking. I was sober, but lifeless. Sober, but colorless. Sober, but miserable.
After 5 years of wrestling this "sober-meh feeling," I drank again.
This (long-ass) relapse would last two full years - 700+ days of "one last drink," which would eventually destroy my marriage, my serenity and my sense of self.
Finding my way back to sobriety felt impossible.
I needed a different approach - my life depended on it. This time, I began by dropping the shame. Getting honest. Changing the ownership. Doing the work.
Hard? Yup. Worth it? Totally.
My perspective shifted. Instead of seeing sobriety as a life-sentence, I began to see it as a source of possibility and creation. Instead of stepping into old stories, I created new, upgraded ones. Instead of a black-and-white sobriety, I added sharp reds and gray undertones. Instead of being in "lack" - I chose an abundant, 360-approach to my new, sober life.
This shift was everything. Everything.
After years of feeling powerless, I felt connected.
Hopeful. Peaceful. Integral. Strong.
A multi-layered, badass approach to sobriety became my thing.
And my true recovery began.